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• Lost the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback spot to Kurt Warner.
• Lost the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback spot to someone old enough to be his Uncle.
• Realized he would probably even lose the Arizona Cardinals starting quarterback spot to these little kids.
• Debuted the ‘Dangerous Elbow’ move that would put him on Dateline NBC with Chris Hansen.
• Determined not to fuck up anymore than he already has professionally.
• Made us think he should probably not be around any underage children (see: ASU coeds).
• Made children who wanted to see a non-Joke Show NFL player unhappy.
• Smelled bacon.

We’ve seen great success so far from Michael Phelps, the USA ballers, and 10-year-old Chinese gymnasts, but below is Beijing’s first performance mishap. And like all things dotted, crossed, and perfect in China, they’ve got “Sign Guys” — probably chosen from birth — to relieve the agony of Hungary’s Janos Baranyai. A caution to those who are squeamish.

(Noteworthy: When did Stewie Griffin begin announcing weightlifting at the Olympics?)