Phelps probably wants her

For those of you who felt a little less manly when watching the women’s swimming events at the Olympics — it’s okay, most of them could probably kill you in an arm wrestling match.

Then there’s Stephanie Rice. She’s the Alicia Sacramone of the pool.

Rice, an Audtrailian, received her first-ever Olympic medal in Beijing, placing first in the 400m individual medley.

Would you beat?

[ratings]

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It’s not like your grandmother was hovering over the wall looking down on Michael Phelps and Milorad Cavic with a stopwatch. The swimmers have to push a touchpad. So why was there any controversy at all when Phelps beat Milorad by 1/100th of a second in last week’s 100-meter butterfly?

The official timekeeper, Omega, released a digital photo sequence of the finish, showing just as much as we saw on TiVo. The explanation, however, is key to understanding why the American Man-God-Fish won the race.

It requires 3 kilograms (6.6 pounds) of pressure to activate the touchpad. ”Any less and waves would set it off,” (Silvio) Chianese said. “You can’t just put your fingertips on the pad, you really have to push it. We explained all this directly after the race to (Cavic) and his coach.”

Just accept it already, Cavic. It’s like you were outputted by Tiger Woods, you were dunked on by Michael Jordan. You were, in reality, out-swam by Michael Phelps, the greatest Olympian ever. No shame in that.

Michael Phelps most likely won’t be swimming laps in this pool, but after winning eight gold medals at the Beijing Olympics, he’ll have plenty of women lined up to chill with him in it.

Que “Welcome to the Good Life,” by Kanye West.

The pool is just part of his new 4,080 square feet condo that’s on the shore of Baltimore. Phelps, the man-God-fish who made an estimated $3-5 million before the Summer Games, paid $1.69 million for his new pad, which includes a rooftop terrace, a movie room, a gym, a clubhouse with pool tables and sweet looking fireplace room.

It must be nice to be the King.

Go inside for more pictures of the Phelps Palace.

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Over the past 72 hours, Michael Phelps has racked up a total of 50,000+ Facebook wall posts, with more and more compiling by the second. With so much content to choose from, we ventured into the crowd to find the Mihcael Phelps Facebook Wall Post Of The Day:

Today’s winner is a response to the thousands of gorgeous women — based on their tiny profile pictures — pouring out the “I love you” and “Marry me” posts to his wall. John Kim of Los Angeles — who, by sheer looks, may have ties to China — doesn’t agree with the sudden onslaught of the Lovephest, as eloquently described in this message:

Chad Johnson is the one who wants to legally change his name to Ocho Cinco. But after last night, that may be a better name for Michael Phelps, whose eight (Ocho) Olympic gold medals have marked his signed 2004 Athens trading card with a $500 (Cinco) price tag. Oh yeah, and that was before he got his eighth gold medal.

Now, correct us if we’re wrong, but trading cards — of any sport — are so early 1990s. They were once a hot item, mostly in the baseball world. Autographed memorabilia is most definitely worth having as a keepsake, but the best things are the more substantial things, not just a tiny card.

That’s why signed baseball’s are great to have. Signed jerseys or caps, too. Sneakers, babies and boobs — anything heavier than a card.

So, here are some things that we would be willing to pay $500 for before we ever paid for a signed trading card for a swimmer, even if he is the best swimmer of all time.

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