Here’s a thought: Instead of admitting to video game glitches, why not just make them reality? It’s the equivalent to editing Wikipedia to prove an argument. (I am never, ever wrong. Trust me.)

That’s what Tiger Woods did, in response to a glitch in his video game that allowed users to walk on water. No shocker — Tiger can do that, too. And through the same way he rolls on the golf course, Tiger completely humiliated his opponent — in this case, the YouTube video that pointed out the glitch. (Video after the jump)

But while they’re at it, we would also like to see these real-life feats:

• Tony Hawk pull a 720-degree Kickflip McTwist.
• See a hit from NFL Blitz actually happen just once.
• Watch a hedgehog compile millions of golden rings.
• A little Italian guy named Mario throw fireballs and bone a princess.

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IRABOOOOO: George Steinbrenner once called ex-Yankee pitcher Hideki Irabu a “fat, pussy toad.”

It must be the toad species that can handle alcohol better than us humans, because Irabu was arrested last night for assault after consuming 20 beers in Japan.

Irabu “allegedly pushed the bartender against the wall, pulled his hair and smashed at least nine liquor bottles” after his credit card was rejected, according to the NY Post.

ANATOMY OF A SHITTY QUARTERBACK:

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Sure, the Boston Celtics captured the biggest single-season comeback in NBA history this year, but has 2008 already eclipsed the biggest one-year sports turnaround in… Earth history?

Those daunting memories of sports in 2007 are over; Michael Vick is locked up, Tim Donaghy is on his way, Pacman Adam Jones is a good guy again, SpyGate is dead, and both Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens have crawled into a hole.

And already, just over seven months into 2008, we could already be putting this historic year in contention for “Best. Year. Ever.” honors. In wake of our fifth epic sporting event (Wimbledon), here’s why:

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The media is clever.

They has us all thinking Tiger Woods was taking a sabbatical from golf until January to get surgery done on his knee. But TSC has learned the truth: Earth’s god of golf is actually in a coma-like state of mind.

Tiger’s “dormant state,” as doctors have begun calling it, is the result of a poisonous Granny Smith apple Tiger ate on the 16th tee during the playoff round between him and Rocky Mediate at the 108th U.S. Open.

After falling behind to Mediate at the 16th, Tiger went for the apple, which an accomplis of Mediate had earlier tainted with an unknown poison. After devouring most of the apple, Tiger is said to have thrown the core in frustration. Then he sent the round to sudden death: exactly what the Mediate clan had hopped for.

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You can be Urkel or you can be Juliet’s Romeo. You can be LeBron or you can be Poindexter. You can ace your tests or you can party late. You can rock white Ts or Lacoste Polos.

Or you can do all of the above. That would make you a Nerdy McFly.

Nerdy McFly? Isn’t that some sort of comic book?

No, it’s an ideology all about balance. You can be smart and you can be cool at the same time. If you’re laughing, it’s because you’re not a Nerdy McFly yet. You don’t understand.

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